September 17, 2009 Thursday
I have come to the final crossroads in my life and this time I will take the right way instead of my way. My way, my choices, my decisions, has lead me down a road of death, destruction, and anything else that you can think of. I am so sorry for all the damage I have done to other people. I am so sorry for the way I have treated people. I wish I could make it right, but I don’t even know if that is possible now. All I can do now is make things right with God and get delivered of all this mess inside of me. I am so ready to begin the process of healing. I don’t want anyone to ever feel the way I feel right now. There really isn’t a way to describe it. But it is so awful. My guts are being ripped out of me. I know this is the reaping what I have sowed. I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me or pity me. This is my own doing. But I do know that I will not stay this way. I will be made whole. I will be a changed man.