Why ask why

September 9, 2009 Wednesday
I have been asking myself one question lately; “why”? I see more than ever that it isn’t the what, but the why. It isn’t so much what we do but why we do it. Folk can do the same thing, but for different reasons. Some things look ok and even look good when we do them, but when we get to the why, that’s the question. Our motives are the key to the ‘why.’ Why do we do the things that we do? In my case, more times than not I have to answer that question with: selfishness. I am working on that right now. I want love to be my motive. I want humility to be my motive. I want the needs of others to be my motive. I have to learn that it’s ‘not about me.’ It’s about my wife, daughter, and my mom, it’s about you. I am learning the ‘why’ is the most important question in my life right now.

yoga

September 8, 2009 Tuesday
I went to my first yoga class Sunday; it was pretty much what I thought it would be like. I liked it a lot and will be going back more often. The reason I wanted to go was for the stretching aspect, but I now see it was more than that. I was carrying all kinds of stress in my shoulders and back. I was more relaxed when we were done. By clearing the stress I was able to get the good muscular stretch that I was looking for. The thing is why we carry all that stress. Probably because life itself is just plain stressful, but does it have to be? Why do we carry all this harmful, muscle tightening stress? It would be so much more comforting and easier on our bodies if we didn’t have all this stress in us. We don’t have to take yoga to get the stress out, even though it’s fun.

Mind clearing

September 7, 2009 Monday
At church the topic of the sermons for some time now has been about discipleship. I am a firm believer in discipleship; which is a form of discipline. It takes discipline to be a disciple. Anyways, the back bone of this whole thing is destiny, purpose, and discipleship. These all work together. The more I write, the book Embrace Your Destiny, Playbook of Champions, and A Walk Through My Mind the more I am seeing the truth of destiny. I have never believed more than I do now that we all have a specific purpose and destiny.
But we all pick up so much baggage along the way that we can’t see our destiny clearly. The only thing that gets rid of the baggage seems to be forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves, forgiving others, and accepting the forgiveness of others are all involved. With forgiveness comes a clearing of the mind; which in turn helps us to see our destiny more clearly.

The Dark side

September 6, 2009 Sunday
I was thinking about Star Wars the other day, the dark side of Darth Vader and all that stuff. We all have that dark side inside of us. We all have those things in us that we deal with on a daily basis. In the church we call it the flesh. We all have to deal with the flesh side; some even call it the mental side. Call it what you will; we all have that “area” that we deal with in our lives. When someone else gets it out in the open and actually does expose that area in their life, we are wishing that we could do that, but we don’t. We are quick to judge and slow to forgive when it’s the other person on the stand, but when it’s us… I know that I am guilty of all of the above; however, I am finding the more that I expose about my “dark side” the more light I have. I keep telling myself, ‘Step into the light.”

Agenda

September 5, 2009 Saturday
How many of us really know without a doubt that we have some very valuable to offer to others? We all have something on the inside of us that we are to share with other folk. Something great and powerful resides inside each of us. The tragedy is that some of us never realize it or never share it with others. It is a tragedy to die with that gift still lying dormant inside of you. Tap into to what was placed in you even before you were born. You are here for a reason, not just yourself; we are here for each other. Lay down your own personal, selfish agenda and look at the big picture. This is the hardest thing for me at times, laying aside my selfishness; for I know that I am a very selfish person, but with God’s help that is ending. What can I do for you? That is my agenda.

Lasting Legacy

September 4, 2009 Friday
I said yesterday that I would not be sending this out to everyone on facebook any longer, but if you want to get it daily, just send me your email and I can email it to you, otherwise, it will be on the group page each day. I will send something out weekly as a reminder on facebook.
I have been thinking awhile about encouragement, people walking their destiny, people’s purpose, and leaving a lasting legacy. I had been questioning how we encourage people. I had lunch with Ben Rodriquez, youth pastor at DFC, yesterday and we talked about this stuff. We wondered how many people are actually operating in their destiny and are aware of it. I said I thought it is 35% are, but only 30% actually know that they are. He felt I was too high and he is more than likely right. Do you know what your dreams are? Do you know what your specific purpose on earth is? Do you know what your destiny entails? Not everybody does, I understand, but wouldn’t it be so awesome if more and more people actually were moving in their destiny, their calling, their purpose, their dreams, and leaving a legacy? I want that so much for my life, my family, and for those around me.

Encouragement

September 3, 2009 Thursday
How we offer encouragement if we have never been encouraged? How can we offer compassion if we have been had it offered to us? It is one of my desires to offer encouragement to others. I have been encouraged and I know that it is part of my destiny to be an encourager. I see people every day that are in need of encouragement. We all are in need at some time or another, but there are some that are in dire need of a dose of encouragement. Some receive encouragement by spoken word, some by a smile, and some by a pat on the back. People receive in different ways. I am looking at a third book project about encouragement. It is a necessity in today’s world.

Freedom

September 2, 2009 Wednesday
There is a freedom that only comes from being in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing, the right way, for the right reason. That is also my definition of righteous. The Psalmist, Janis Joplin, said that ‘freedom’s just another word, for nothing left to lose,’ which I agree with. It seems like we only reach our righteousness or our freedom when we come to the end of ourselves. When we run out of gimmicks, games, and tricks we run into our destiny and purpose; which brings peace, freedom and righteousness. If only I would die to myself and my desires and start living. I desire the best for my wife, daughter, and us as a family. That will only happen when freedom comes.

Living to die

September 1, 2009 Tuesday
Let me correct yesterday, I meant to say that we are all created with a specific reason.
I want to be who I was created to be. However, I keep getting in the way of who I was created to be. I have to know that it’s not about me, but about others, then I wouldn’t get in the way. I have always heard we must die to self and live for Christ and others. But how many of us really die to self? I know I am not doing a good job of that. I keep resuscitating and not dying to self as I should. It is only when we come to end of ourselves to we truly see what dying to self and living for others is all about. I hope that at this time in my life that I have completely died to myself so that I can now truly live.

Hanging out

August 31, 2009 Monday
Everybody has their place in life. We are all here with a course to run. There is no one born into this world with a specific purpose and reason for being. The question is, ‘what is our purpose’? That goes for us as individuals and as groups. If we are meeting our individual destiny and purpose then we will be drawn to the groups that are doing the same thing. Like for me, I am drawn to people that want to talk about destiny and purpose. I am drawn to people that want to encourage others. Those are the types of people that I desire to be around, because I want to be like them. I want to be a giver or a dealer of hope, so I hang out with people that want to talk about hope and giving hope to others.

what if

August 30, 2009 Sunday
Sometime back in the fall I was wondering what it would be like if we all were operating or at least moving into our destiny. I really wonder, what is the percentage of folk are actually in that mode? What percentage of the folk are moving toward their destiny and operating in their destiny? I sometimes wonder if it is even 40% of the world. What would this world be like if we all were living in our destiny? There would be no lack, no mess, stress would be gone, and all sorts of things would be different. What would it really be like? I really do want to know, I want to experience that world of destiny minded people. What can I do to encourage people to reach their destiny?

Catching Up

August 29, 2009 Saturday
Got back from Grove Hill this morning around 1am. Had a good time at the game. First person I saw was Freddie Pringle, who I haven’t seen in years, it was so good to catch up with him. Then I spent the evening walking with the chain gang; which Doug Bradford was part of, another cousin I haven’t seen in years. Bobby Keahey was also part of the chain gang. So it was entertaining to say the least.
We are getting a lot closer to having Embrace Your Destiny out on the market. So much has happened since I started that book; I can see why authors say that once the book comes out they wonder if it is really all that good. I see where I would change things and add things, but that’s why we continue to write. I have made a lot of those changes in the project I am working on now, Playbook of Champions and I know that when it’s done I will be making changes in the 3rd book, which right now is going to be called The Encourager. I have created a character in the Playbook; his name is Aggie, and I want to carry him over into The Encourager. So I am seeing a lot of Jackson in the 3rd book. So look out Jackson folk, I am going to be talking to you over the next year or so. But anyways, that’s where we are right now. Embrace will our soon, I will let you know more about it ASAP. Thanks so much for all you have done. I love you all very much!!

Teamwork

August 28, 2009 Friday
Well, its game day again. We head down to Gator Country tonight to play Clarke Prep. I haven’t been to a “Grove Hill Academy” game since ’82. A lot of memories have come back since I have been working with Tuscaloosa Academy, writing this book. I have learned a lot about myself in being around the sport again. I worked some with Jackson High School even after I had stopped teaching and working as an athletic trainer. I really have missed the sport and being part of a team. That was one thing that I was determined to do again; be a part of a team. We all, men in particular, want to be a part of something that is bigger than us. I have a desire to be part of a team. I love the concept of teamwork and accomplishing a common goal. The same is now coming true in my marriage. I am seeing that even more now, than ever before, that I want to be a part of something awesome and great. Marriage without a doubt is teamwork. It is crazy how we can’t see the obvious; right in front of my face. The old saying, ‘can’t see the forest for the trees,’ is so true in my life. There are things that have been right in front of my eyes and I just didn’t see it. Thankfully, the blinders have been taken off and now I am beginning to see things. As the Psalmist said, “I can see clearly now the rain is gone. Gonna be bright, bright, sunshiny day.” I am thankful for my sight!!

wins and loses

August 27, 2009 Thursday
I just want to thank each of you that have sent notes of encouragement through the past year. I really do appreciate each one of them. Even those that aren’t positive notes, I still take it as encouragement. We can learn from the positive as well as the negative. I know that I learn more from adversity than I ever do from winning. I rarely learn much from a win, but from a loss I learn volumes. It is good to have wins though, it means we are learning from our loses. Wins are good but loses teach us more about ourselves. I am thankful for what I have learned about myself in the past few weeks and months. I didn’t like it, but I am glad that I learned it. Now the key is don’t make the same mistakes over again. Once we have learned something, put it in to practice.

Oil change

August 26, 2009 Wednesday
I got to thinking about being drained and how it’s not always a bad thing. I feel like I am due for an oil change. I have oil in me, but its low and not any good now. It’s time to change the oil in me, just like in your car. It is way past due in life for a good oil changing and cleaning up on the inside. So you see, all in all the drained feeling, although it isn’t a great feeling, is not bad at all. Now it is time to put in the fresh new oil to replace the old. It’s the oil that reduces the friction of life. The saying is that as iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another. When you sharpen something there is friction and sparks are flying everywhere. So you got to have the oil to keep it from getting too hot and messing up the iron.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my daily posts. I know it can be overwhelming at times, especially if you don’t check your facebook each day. If you had rather get this by email we can arrange that too. Starting Jan ’10 I won’t be doing a daily blog on facebook but rather twice a week. I may continue to add to the blog each day but not mailing it out on facebook. I think this is better, but since I have committed to a daily blog for a year I will do so until Dec 31. Thanks again for sticking it out with me.

Drained

August 25, 2009 Tuesday
I have sit here for what seems like hours and I have nothing. I don’t know what to write. I feel drained in every aspect of my life. I really don’t think that is such a bad thing. There have been things in my life, things that had a strong hold in my life that needed to be drained out. I am thankful that those things are being drained out and being replaced with a new thing. I apologize for rambling and not making much sense, but in my heart I know exactly what I am trying to say. Thank you for being so supportive and putting up with me and my rambling.

Calming Peace

August 24, 2009 Monday
One of the things in life that I want is to be a peacemaker. I have said before that I hope that one day when I walk into a room that no matter what someone is going through that they know that everything is going to be ok. Not because of me, but because of who I am and who’s I am. The fact that I carry the Peacemaker inside me is more than enough. I so desire to have a calming effect on people. To be like the bomb squad and defuse the situation and not blow up people is my desire. We either carry a bucket of water with us or a bucket of gasoline; it’s one or the other. I am tired of being the cause of people’s pain and causing situations to be worse because of me. Peace is the key. Security that comes from the peace we carry. Security in knowing that I have the Peace of God.

Peace Infection

August 23, 2009 Sunday
There has been a lot of talk about swine flu and all that stuff lately. People being infected and carriers of the strain of flu has been the talk. When it comes to peace, I would love to be a carrier of peace. To be one who has so much peace that the peace I carry calms others, I infect other people with peace. Don’t misunderstand, I know that I don’t have that peace yet, but I am working on it. To be a peace keeper is one thing but to be a peace maker is something completely more. It’s not so hard to keep the peace, but can you make peace where there is turmoil? Only if you have more than enough peace inside you can you be a peacemaker. I have to get the stuff that is un-peaceful out of my life before I can replace it with peace. Peace is a key to so many things in our lives.

Peace Out

August 22, 2009 Saturday
I was thinking yesterday, what is it that we want from life? The answers to that question are endless I suppose. I have thought about this often, especially when Melissa was pregnant with Gloria. What did we want, what do I want from life, what do you want from life, and so on and so on. I finally have come to the conclusion that peace is the main thing in life I desire. My reasoning being that if I have peace then no matter what is going on around me, to me, to you, to my family, I know that all is well. Peace is the umpire of life. Peace will call you out or safe, may even have to throw you out the game for a period of time. But when we have peace, we know that we will walk through whatever life hits us with. When things are good and we have peace we can enjoy our family, friends, and others. Peace keeps me sane, keeps the joy in my life, and keeps hope alive in my life. Without peace nothing will work out for you. You will not have joy no matter how good things are going without peace. Peace is what I desire most in life. So peace must be what I bring to the table.

show courage

August 21, 2009 Friday
I think I will wrap up the courage aspect of this blog for awhile. I will let this be the last courage talk for now. What I have learned so far is that when scared; show courage. When you are unsure of yourself; show courage. When you don’t know what to do; show courage. When you make a mistake; show courage. When you fail; show courage. When you are done wrong; show courage. When you are threatened; show courage. When you are tempted; show courage. When decision time comes; show courage. When you fall; show courage. When opportunity knocks; show courage. In other words always show courage. Courage will be a faithful friend when you exercise it in your life. Courage is from the heart, so keep your heart clean and strong. Let’s all be the cowardly lion and search out courage until we find it.

baseline courage

August 20, 2009 Thursday
As I mentioned earlier, courage is the first characteristic or quality in the book project that I am working on; Playbook of Champions. I see the need for courage in my life, in so many different aspects. When I find myself hiding it is because I am scared and don’t have courage. I see now that I have spent my entire life hiding. Whether it is mentally, physically or spiritually, it is the same. I have lacked courage in all aspects of my life for all my life. Only now am I starting to develop the courage necessary to come out of hiding and face the world as it is. There are so many variables and so much that is unknown, but hiding is not the answer; courage is the answer. Courage to come out of hiding is hard for me but I am doing my best.

real me courage

August 19, 2009 Wednesday
School starts today for my 6 yr old daughter. She is starting the 1st grade at Tuscaloosa Academy. The previous two years were easy because it was Pre-K and then K-5, but not “real” school. But today the real deal starts. It was harder on me than I thought it would be. I know it was on Melissa too, the past two years were on her as well. But that letting go… Gloria loves school, she loves to read and learn. She makes friends so easy. She has never met a stranger. My God I have so much to learn from her. I have so much trouble with relationships. I have never invested in a relationship all of myself, that is changing as we speak though. My parents, family, wife, daughter, friends, no one has ever had all of me as a friend. No one has ever gotten to know the absolute “real” me. All of that is about to change, actually it is already changing now. All this talk about courage to do this and that, well it is time that I have the courage to be me; the absolute real me. The thing is, I don’t think I know the real me either. So it is a learning experience for me too. I may lose every friend I thought I ever had, but that’s ok. It’s way past time that I remove every wall, barrier, and defense mechanism from my life and establish well defined boundaries. Courage is a must for me now!

decision courage

August 18, 2009 Tuesday
We are still on the courage thing today. It takes courage to have hope and to change, but too it takes courage to accept responsibility for your actions. One way to look at it is to say that it takes courage to not make excuses. When we make excuses for what we do, we stop ourselves from change. I had a slogan on my board when I was at Open Door; Excuses stop Change. What I was saying is that when we make excuses we will not change our actions, mindsets, and such. When we have the courage to stop making excuses for why we do what we do, then and only then, will we change ourselves. We have to take responsibility. We want to blame our parents, our DNA, and society for the way we are. We are the way we are because of the decisions that we have made. Those other things are definitely influencers in how we are, but they aren’t the determining factor; we are the final say so in that. Have the courage to accept responsibility and stop making excuses, then we will become who we are supposed to be.

Courage of Hope

August 17, 2009 Monday
Having courage to hope is essential to reaching your destiny and to just living day to day. So many people have given up on hope, that’s because it takes courage to believe that tomorrow will indeed be better. I know it seems in my own life that it will only get worse; can it get better, can I change, can I grow, stuff like that. It takes courage to have hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Without hope what’s the use in even getting out of bed? Hope is the key to day to day life. Courage to have hope is so important to living a life of destiny. Without hope you won’t be able to reach your destiny. We have to have the courage to hold on to hope.

To be real

August 16, 2009 Sunday
The more I write about courage the more I realize that it is involved in just about everything we do. It takes courage to be real and be who you really are these days. I know I have been so guilty of not being my real self too many times. But with the courage that can only be from God, those days are over. We must be real; we must be who we really are. The courage to love yourself, not to have self-hate, which I have lived with for all my life basically has to go if we are going to be real and difference makers. The courage to accept ourselves, not as we are so much, but to accept ourselves and make the changes necessary, to grow. This courage is innermost and only is for those that are serious about destiny and making a difference in the world around them. This is the courage that I am striving for, not there yet, but striving for daily.

Difference Courage

August 15, 2009 Saturday
August is half gone today; this year is escaping so fast. This means that our lives too are moving so fast. I have been talking about courage a lot here lately and the more I write about it the less courage I find that I have today. If I had courage I would have done the right thing more often in my life. If I had courage I would in turn have more integrity in my life. However, I believe that we can build our courage just like anything else. The more we practice courage the stronger it becomes in us.
I don’t know about you but I want to make a difference in the people around me. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to make a good and a positive difference in people. I know that I have made serious mistakes and I apologize for them all. I want to be transparent and live my life open and honest; with no walls. I know this takes courage, but I am determined to overcome the mistakes and sins of my life to make a stand for courage and to make a difference

Standing Courage

Courage to stand… There are so many different things going through my mind it’s impossible to write them all, so I will just do one a time. I have done things to hurt people, disappoint people, anger people, and so on… I have learned that there is freedom in having the courage to stand and say that I have made wrong choices and I am learning to change and to become the man that I was created to be.
The courage to be repentant of things I have done and choices I have made will enable me to be the man I am supposed to be, the husband and the dad I am supposed to be. The courage to say I am wrong and I am repentant is an awesome thing.

Mistakes

August 13, 2009 Thursday
It takes courage to admit your mistakes. I have made so many mistakes in my lifetime that it boggles my mind to think about it. But one thing I have realized is that I would rather admit when I am wrong, which takes courage, and make things right to the best of my ability, which again takes courage. I have not always taken this approach but I know that has to change. To always take the courage route and not what appears to be the easy way out. The peace that comes from taking the courage route far outweighs the mental and emotional torture we put ourselves through when we don’t do the right thing. I continually ask for mercy, grace, and forgiveness for my mistakes knowing that I am not perfect nor do I pretend to be, but I will strive for courage and take the courage route.

Equalizing Courage

August 12, 2009 Wednesday
It takes courage to overcome disappointment. When you have been hurt or disappointed by someone, it takes courage to overcome those feelings and still demonstrate the love that we are to show to folk. One thing to remember is that we too disappoint and hurt others as well. We are not the victim and should not act like one. People of courage do not have a victim mentality. There is a time of recovery from being hurt and disappointed but there is no time to feel sorry for ourselves and/or have that victim mentality. Courage is the great equalizer to those feelings. When those negative emotions try to control us, we muster up the courage we have developed to stop them. So courage isn’t developed in the hard times, but it is exercised during the hard times. In other words, courage is developed and exercised all the time.

dream courage

August 11, 2009 Tuesday
What about having courage to dream? The courage to be a person of vision is important. I used to teach, or at least try to teach, my kids at OD about being a person of vision. I would share vision with them. We sometimes try to turn vision into a spiritual word, but it is more than that. It is spiritual but it also carries over into the natural. You must have courage to dream and be a visionary. Don’t be scared to see things as they can be and as they will be. Things are very rarely as they seem. You have to take a chance and see them as they could be. See people as they could be not just as they are right now. It does take courage to see past the right now and look into the what will be.

lion courage

August 10, 2009 Monday
Courage takes on many forms. We have mentioned a few of them during the past week. Take heart and have courage. It will take courage to fulfill your destiny. It will take courage to help others fulfill their destinies as well. Courage is a vital part of our lives. Living a lifestyle of courage means that you never give up. You persist without end. No matter what comes against you giving up is not an option. Courage will keep you going when you don’t feel like you can go another day. When nothing seems to be going right in your life; it is courage that will keep you going. Courage is of the heart and from the heart; we draw life from it. Like the lion from the Wizard of Oz; “Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot?

comfort zone

August 9, 2009 Sunday
We all hear about our comfort zone and getting out of our comfort zone to do one thing or another. With the same courage we have been talking about the past few days, this is how we get out of our comfort zone. “Be of good courage” is what God told Joshua in the Bible. He was telling Joshua to get out of his comfort zone and go and move in his destiny. Only with courage; good courage, will we move out of our comfort zone and into our destiny zone. You have what it takes already inside you. Activate your good courage today!!

Army of Encouragers

August 8, 2009 Saturday
To be an encourager we must have courage and then give that courage to others. The en means to make or put in. You can’t make something unless you have all the ingredients. You must have courage to make or give someone else courage; to encourage. Maybe this is why we find it hard to encourage folk; we don’t have the courage in ourselves much of the time. Being an encourager takes a lot of courage on our part. Let’s begin to develop the courage necessary to be an encourager. Where you are strong encourage others, and where they are strong they will encourage you. We make an army of encouragers; which can’t be defeated!!

My Encourager

August 7, 2009 Friday
Today is Melissa and I 10th Anniversary. Just seems like the other day I was waiting at the altar with Bro Pat and my dad, for her to make her entrance. A day that I will cherish forever and ever, our wedding day!!
Melissa has been an awesome encourager to me, especially in the past 2 years. We have gone from one extreme to another in several areas of our lives. We were in debt up to our eye balls this time last year and she would keep on telling me, “Everything is fine, we got each other and that’s more important than money in the bank.” Today we still have each other and we got the money in the bank. When I knew it was time to leave OD and start writing she was right there encouraging me to do it. I know it has been a stretch for her in so many ways. Putting up with me is enough to discourage anybody, but she is still by my side. Not behind me and not out in front, but right by my side. She is the ultimate encourager to me!!

Courage to Encourage

August 6, 2009 Thursday
I am seeing more and more that it takes courage to Encourage folk. To tell someone that they are doing a great job does in fact take courage. To stand with someone when they are going through a tough spell takes courage. You have to have courage though if you are going to encourage others. You can’t give someone something that you don’t have. So then, in order to encourage someone else, you too, must have courage. To encourage someone else means taking putting your attention on them and not on yourself. For some of us that takes courage. Or just the opposite, to encourage someone, by telling and showing them that you too have gone through something similar takes courage. To be able to bear yourself and expose yourself takes courage. To humiliate yourself, which just means to humble yourself for the sake of others, takes courage. Be an encourager to others!!

standing courage

August 5, 2009 Wednesday
What about the courage it takes to make a difference in the people around you? The courage to be a world changer; even if that world is just one or two people, is needed. The courage to be different, knowing that you will stand out, because you don’t conform to what everyone else is doing. The courage to make a stand for what is right, to do what is right, because it is right, and then do it right. It takes courage to do these things. Maybe that’s why we don’t have a lot of people making a difference. Do we have a lack of courage? If you don’t have this courage, find someone who does and learn from them, support them, and you will begin to develop life changing courage. We all have the capability to have courage; we just don’t all exercise it.

life courage

August 4, 2009 Tuesday
Courage is the first topic of my book Playbook of Champions. It takes courage to be a champion, not just a football champion, but a champion in life. It takes courage to be able to stand when stuff around you in falling apart. It takes courage to stand when everyone else has run away or abandon you. It takes courage to take the punches that life throws at you. As Rocky Balboa said, “It isn’t how hard you can hit, but how you can take a punch from life.” It definitely takes courage to be a champion in life. Take heart and you will have courage.

types of courage

August 3, 2009 Monday
I think we all have courage of one kind or another. There isn’t just one type of courage, but like the courage to change, the courage to grow personally. It takes courage to look at our lives and say, “I am tired of living like this,” and then make the changes necessary to live the life we were intended to live. It takes self courage to make life changing changes. It isn’t easy to change, to grow, to do the things necessary to live out your destiny. The courage that it takes to live your destiny doesn’t come from making excuses but from taking responsibility for our lives and the decisions we make.

Courage

August 2, 2009 Sunday
I have been thinking a lot about courage here lately too. I know that we hear the word a lot but what all does it mean? I know that courage has to do with having heart. I have heard that without the presence of fear; we would not have courage. We all have to summon our own courage at times in our lives. To begin to write and share myself for me has taken courage. I know full well that what I share about myself can easily be used in a negative way, but that’s when courage kicks in. Once I realized that the past really can’t hurt me because I had disarmed it, I had the courage to do what I needed to do. Without personal self security I don’t think we can have personal self courage.

Defining Trust

August 1, 2009 Saturday
Wow July is gone! School is getting ready to start back up; which means one thing; Football Season!!!! Won’t be long now, practice has started and it getting so close.
Trust is a strange thing sometimes, to many people. I have gotten many notes over the past few days about trust. I appreciate them all too. I have really had my eyes opened to the issue of trust. I don’t have the issues that I did at one time, but we all have some issues with trust. It is a very valuable and sensitive thing. I call it a thing, because it’s not an emotion, it’s not an object; it’s not really a thing, but what else to call it. Trust is fragile but at the same time it holds marriages together, teams together and even countries together.
I am looking into my own working definition of trust; what trust is or what is trust, so that I can eliminate any issues that I may still have regarding trust.

trust myself

July 31, 2009 Friday
The one person in this world that I have the hardest time trusting is me. I suppose that I know myself way too good. There are certain things that I know I have to stay away from because I don’t trust myself around them. For the most part people are not my problem. That’s because I don’t open up enough to be hurt by anyone; something that I am working on daily. However, I know my personality, my addictive personality, all too well. I have to stay away from alcohol, especially a cold beer on a hot summer day. I also have to stay away from smokeless tobacco. The tobacco isn’t too bad, but still I stay clear. I don’t trust myself around those things. I don’t trust myself with certain foods, pizza being the main one. It’s something how things but not people cause me trust issues with me. Like I said, it is because I don’t share myself enough. If I don’t invest myself then I can’t lose, but that is changing. I am putting myself in more vulnerable positions, mainly with my wife, my daughter, my mom, and now you guys to name a few. This is allowing my trust level with me to grow more, although it is a little bit, each day. I hope that one day I can share anything to anybody and not worry about how they could hurt me, use it against me, and stuff like that to stop me. Getting closer daily!!

Value of trust

July 30, 2009 Thursday
I can’t seem to get this trust thing out of my mind. Maybe I am still dealing with some trust issues and didn’t realize it. I have really looking at relationships that I have new and old; mainly at the level of trust in each of them. We are all on different trust levels in different relationships. I know that we all have some issues with trust, but even the worse issues can be worked through. Not having trust can prove to be a lonely place. But be encouraged there are still people that are trustworthy, probably more than you think. Start looking for folk to build trust in today. They are all around. Of course, there will be those that aren’t as trustworthy as others. But I am seeing the way to build trust is to be trustworthy and to put trust in others. When we give our trust to someone it will build trust in them many times. To be so important and vital; trust; there seems to be so little of it around. I guess that’s why it is so valuable and precious.

Fickle Trust

July 29, 2009 Wednesday
Trust in a friendship or relationship can be a fickle thing. I always want to believe the best about someone, no matter what the situation. However, there are times when folk just will not let you believe the best. Trust is so hard sometimes. Just when you think you have built some trust in a person; BAM! Something happens to really test that trust. But still I keep on trying to trust folk; knowing that it will be difficult. But I try because I know people are doing the same for me. People are placing more and more trust in me to see if I am worthy of their trust. Knowing that I will do something stupid given enough time. But don’t we all? We expect trust but do we give trust?

Trust Level

July 28, 2009 Tuesday
I am guessing that one of the main reasons we don’t establish relationships is a lack of trust. This is not always the case, but when we make up our mind not to have a relationship with someone it seems to be because we don’t trust that person. In time that may change and we build a friendship, but if we don’t trust then we will never have relationship. The only way someone is going to trust us is if we are trustworthy. If we have personal agendas and are only looking out for ourselves then we are not trustworthy. We our goal or objective is to see what we can get out of the relationship then we are not trustworthy. Trust is build on being worthy of that trust. Trust once lost is very hard to regain, I know that lesson all too well. But I am doing my best to rebuild trust in people that I have lost trust in and with people that have lost trust in me. It’s hard to do on both sides, but it is a building project that is well worth the effort put in to it.

Networking

July 27, 2009 Monday
I have been thinking about this “networking” thing. Networking for the sake of it, not trying to build relationships, to me is not right. I am trying to get you to do something for me and acting like I am your friend; that’s not me. To me that is just using people. So when I was told I had to network, I didn’t know what I had to do. Now I know and it’s simple. Build relationships to me is networking. Whether you do anytime, like buy my books or read my blogs, is not the important thing here. Establishing of the relationship to me is the most important thing. It’s not what you can do for me or what can I get out of it, but what can I do for you, what can I have to offer you in the relationship. There are all sorts of relationships and different levels of relationships. I am learning, slowly but surely I am learning.

Full Circle

July 26, 2009 Sunday
I am still learning from this past week’s trip to Jackson. No matter what we do in life when it comes right down to it; it’s all about relationships. It seems like everything I do comes full circle back to relationships. There are some old relationships that may need to be brought back to the forefront and then there are new ones that need to be established. However, I also see that the key elements to any relationship new or old remain the same. Care to guess? They are trust and forgiveness. Without these two key ingredients there can be no relationship. Both have to be worked at all the time. Trust doesn’t come easy; lose that trust and it’s almost impossible to regain. Forgiveness is the same, it seems so hard to forgive, but we ask for it so readily. Forgiveness and trust do go hand in hand; just like grace and mercy. It’s like grace and trust are close while mercy and forgiveness are close.

Take notice

July 25, 2009 Saturday
We all have a purpose and a destiny. You have heard me say that over and over again. Yet some of you look at your life and wonder if I am crazy. Well, I might be, that’s beside the point, but I will always believe that we all have a destiny. You may look at your life and not see the things you want to see. You may not be doing the things you want to be doing or dream about doing. You may see your life as insignificant and/or unimportant. We all have to go through times of growing and establishing a sound, good, strong foundation. The thing is while this is taking place nobody sees us, nobody notices us, we are taking for granted, over looked, stepped on, stepped over, passed up, passed by, forgotten, and left out. Trust me when I say this, you are being watched, but not in a bad way. You are being noticed, but in a positive way. There are folk like myself that take account of and notice people all the time. I have made it a lifestyle to take notice of people and where they are; as in their personal growth.

Getting to know you

July 24, 2009 Friday
I have spent the past two days in Jackson. I got to visit with mama which is always good, but also was able to “network” with people. I met some new folk and got re-acquainted with some folk I haven’t talked to in years. The root behind it all was the book coming out and the one I am writing. This networking as it is called it simply getting to know people. For me that is a stretch, I don’t get to know people very well, but it was been an awesome learning experience. Learning to open up to folk and just build relationships on all different levels is not something I am good at; YET. I am working on it though and it’s not so bad. The point of my rambling is that we all have areas that we have difficulty with in our lives, but we know that it is something that we have to work on. For me building and maintaining good healthy relationships is that area. For you it may be something totally else, but don’t put it off any longer. For those that I met this week and those that I got to see again after a long time; I want to thank you for allowing me into your life. I have the most amazing and awesome people around me right now and I am very thankful for each and every one of you!!!

Pick and choose

July 23 2009 Thursday
I have really enjoyed the time in Jackson with my mom. I have come to realize that life is really all about relationships. I have this mentality that I can just pick and choose who I want to be friends with and who I don’t. Funny thing though, when I get done with my list, it always seems to get changed. God has a way of rocking things. I see more and more that we all need one another. I know that some folk just aren’t going to get along that well, but when it comes down to it, we just need to love each other and don’t let stuff get in the way of relationships. I know that I have a lot to learn when it comes to people skills, but I am learning. So for all that I have offended or upset I apologize with all my heart. Even though it may not seem like it, I am trying.

Can you hear me now

July 22, 2009 Wednesday
When I was at Open Door, one of the programs that I worked to establish was a mentoring program for the students. Mentoring is a lost art in a lot of ways. However, it is still around in some circles; although it may not be called mentoring, we still do it a lot these days. Who are you being mentored by? Who are you listening to? I am a firm believer in that we all should have a mentor and in time be a mentor.
There have been some awesome men that have taught me incredible lessons during my life. I can remember Tommy White, Johnny Waddill, Danny Steed, and Houston Broadhead, just to name a few. These men taught me things that I still use today. However, are there still people today that are pouring into our lives the stuff that we need to know? There are plenty of folk that will teach us the wrong things, that’s easy and anyone can do that. We need folk that will teach and model for us the right stuff!!

confident not arrogant

July 21, 2009 Tuesday
We can be confident and not be arrogant. I have always believed in myself, but doubted that anyone else believed in me. I know I can do whatever I am supposed to do, but never believed anyone else believed that I could accomplish anything worthwhile. It is time that we begin to believe in the ability that God has placed in us. God, I don’t think, would give someone all this awesome ability and talent; then just forget about us. We need to find out what is in us. We have to know who we are and why we are here. However, does the self-confidence come before, during or after we realize these things?

Confident not controlled

July 20, 2009 Monday
This self-confidence thing really gets at me. I know that when I have trouble with my self-confidence that I let folk control me. Self-confidence is truly a powerful tool when used the right way. Not allowing self-confidence to escalate into arrogance is a key. But when we have self-confidence then we won’t let other people control our actions nor our emotions. When I dealt with a lack of self-confidence I found some folk; just a couple, that would help me to build my self-confidence. I didn’t let those that would use it against me get close enough to hurt me at that time. Now, I can allow anyone to get close because my self-confidence is now strong enough to where others can’t control me any longer.

Tub bottom

July 19 2009 Sunday
“Every tub must sit on its own bottom” my grandfather once told me. I had no clue as to what he meant. For years that statement has been in mind, wondering what in the world did he mean. I think what he was saying was; that we all have to walk out our own lives. As much as we want to help and we can to a point, but it is our responsibility to make decisions and to carry them out ourselves. No one can do that for you. We do help one another that is true, but we must take responsibility for our own actions and take responsibility for our lives. We have to have enough confidence in ourselves that we can make the right decisions and carry them out. Something is lacking in so many of us today; self-confidence.

Choo choo

July 18, 2009 Saturday
Every person’s life counts for something. We all do have a unique purpose here. I really do believe that; even though I see folk all the time not living to their fullest. Not to say that they are any less because of it. It doesn’t matter if your life looks like a train wreck it is not too late. We all have made mistakes and made bad decisions. Trust me I have made some insane decisions in my life. I have made some massive mistakes in my life. There are people that will never like me or listen to me because of the things that I have done, but I know that there is still purpose and destiny left in me. The same goes for you, if you are waiting until you are perfect, it ain’t gonna happen. Start make the necessary changes in your life, sure, but know that perfection isn’t the goal. Destiny is the destination!!

Life is too short and too long...

July 17, 2009 Friday
I often say life is too short to be angry, bitter, mad, etc… also life is too long for those same things. Why we walk around with all that stuff tying us up and keeping us so controlled by all that I don’t know. I know that not everybody is going to be friends with everybody else, but why not be pleasant and peaceful? I hate it when I have to walk on egg shells around people because of what they think, what they may say, how they feel, and so on. Sometimes I understand, it is my own fault that they feel that way. Even if I have apologized and tried to make things right; some folk don’t want to make things right. Let it go is all I know to do. I am too tired to try to remember who’s mad at whom, who’s not talking to whom, who is offended and who isn’t. I have been all those things at the same time too. So I really do know how it feels to be all constipated on messed up emotions. But not any longer! Peace, grace, mercy, forgiveness are too good to live without.
A side note here. Five years ago this week my dad began a battle with cancer. Now at this same time five years later, my mom is beginning that same fight. We are much better prepared this time around. I thank you for your prayers; we are going to be just fine no matter the outcome. We will make it through this; for God is with us and I can’t ask for anything more than that.

Still Growing

July 16, Thursday
To say that I have had a lot on my mind the past week and especially the past few days is an understatement of massive proportions. Most of the stuff I will write on here about and some is just for me. This thing with relationships and trying to fix or repair folk has really hit home with me. Also, the fact that people are the most important resource we have. Yet we spend so much time in unforgiveness mode, mad at folk, trying to get even with folk, withholding ourselves from folk, and I could go on and on, because I am guilty of all of these. I will be the first to admit that my people skills still stink. I am actively working on improving them. It’s amazing, I clear one obstacle and there sits another. Ahhh, such is life, I know it’s all part of growing and maturing.

Celebrate Others

July 15, 2009 Wednesday
Back when I was in Jackson I can remember that this week was a week of celebration. The whole week something would be done to celebrate today, the birthday of Pastor E. C. Russell. We would have a ball all week long. We would celebrate together.
When you have relationships you love to celebrate with the other person. It’s about them, not about us. In the case mentioned it was fun for everybody. However, sometimes we have to be the giver. We tend to base relationships on what the other person can do for me. I am finding out that it is not necessarily that way. I often hear “Well, they did this or they did that to me and I am going to do this or take to them.” Relationship is not about retaliation but about giving of yourself to others. There are boundaries and parameters of course, but it is not what can I get, but what can I give. There is a balance, so be careful that we don’t get too out of balance. Like I mentioned yesterday, I have to watch that I am not trying to fix or repair everyone, but just give of myself.

Dent and Ding

July 14, 2009 Tuesday
Most of us have been involved in a car wreck or know someone that has been in one. I have had a few, nothing too serious, but I always attempted to get my vehicle fixed after it had wreck. Even if we get a dent or a ding in our truck or car we go and get it repaired. The thing that hit me this morning was this; when I get a ding or a dent in a relationship I just let it go. I am more interested in getting my car fixed than I am getting relationship repaired. When there is a relationship wreck no matter how small or large, how quick do we try to repair it?
One of my major mistakes is that I am a fixer. I think that I need to fix things when they aren’t broken, which in turn usually breaks them. When I talk to people, it’s not always about fixing or repairing them. I have got to change my outlook on relationships and learn from people. I know that everybody I talk to can teach me something. I know I have some apologizing to do to people that I have had to attitude of “I need to repair you” when that was not the case. So let’s check our relationships and see what shape they are in and make the necessary changes, but be careful at how we go about it.

Grace and Mercy

July 13, 2009 Monday
How we treat others is so important in regards to our destiny. It is important in every area but we are talking about it in regards to destiny. For goodness sake why can’t we treat people the way they need to be treated, not how they may deserve to be treated? We tend to judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions. I know folk that have dropped the hammer on someone just because it was the way they were dealt with. What makes that right? Or just? I am a firm believer in discipline but I believe discipline has a distinctly helpful outcome in mind. Discipline gets the person back on track and back on the journey to their destiny. We tend to just kick ‘um out and throw them away. Remember though, what goes around comes around. I would rather be guilty of showing too much mercy and grace than not enough.

What goes around...

July 12, 2009 Sunday
I read a poem once that said:
There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
None goes his way alone;
All that we send into the lives of others
Comes back into our own.

There is nothing that we do that is for us and us alone. Everything we do affects someone else at some time. Sometimes it’s immediate; sometimes it may be longer. We are not in this alone. Your destiny never is for you and you alone but your destiny involves other people. Everything that you invest into someone else will come back to you one day. Be very, very careful what you invest into someone else’s life. Pour into them positive, encouraging, meaningful, helpful stuff. I see so many people will issues that come from other people. I myself have had to deal with issues that were the result of what others invested in me. Sow love and you will reap love, sow bitterness and you will reap bitterness. Let’s work together in this, help one another in this. Because we are all in this together.

today determines tomorrow

July 11, 2009 Saturday
When we are making our decisions that determine our destination, we have to realize that what we do today determines where we are tomorrow. What is written today will be read tomorrow is one of my motto’s. Most of the time with this blog, what you are reading today was yesterday. The same is true in life; the decisions you make today will determine your direction tomorrow. It is so hard for us to understand this when we are young. Sometimes I still have problems with it, must mean I am still young, huh?
Anyhow, remember that what you are doing right now today, whether anyone knows about it or not, will determine your tomorrow. It may not always be in 24 hour increments, but there is escaping it. I live by the silver rule; you will reap and reap more than you sow. Another way of saying it is; what goes around comes around. So make sure you are making wise, smart, intelligent decisions today because the results of them will come see you tomorrow.

set your course

July 10, 2009 Friday
Continuing from yesterday; talking about decisions lead to direction leads to destiny. Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough to accomplish your destiny. If you know that you are destined to accomplish a certain goal in life; then never let someone talk you out of it. The key here is; know it is what you are supposed to do. Make sure it is in line with the overall good of yourself and others. Then set your focus on it and don’t let up.
Setting your course or direction is very important. You will have adversity along the way; there will be some hiccups that you will have to overcome. But don’t get sidetracked and off course. Keep you focus on what lies ahead, not so much on what is behind. If your past is clearer than your future, something is wrong. If yesterday is what you live on; then something is out of line. We draw from the past, but we don’t live from it. Don’t be like the Springsteen’s song, “Glory Days”!

D=D=D

July 9, 2009 Thursday
I have a book, as many of you know, at the editor now; Embrace Your Destiny. I haven’t look at it for a month or so now. I have been putting together another project. But the past couple of days I have been thinking back about destiny and how to reach it. If we were in church I would call it Decisions = Direction = Destiny. If we were in church…
I have heard many times that the world is full of good intentions. I have found that this is true. Many of us intent to do great things, we have dreams; we have goals, but never make the decision to do it. The point of it is, our decisions will determine our direction which in turn determines our destiny. We can have great intentions but if we never make the decision to act on the intention and put it in action we will never have direction. We will just sit still or go around in circles. So step one is to make the decisions necessary to get our direction. If we want to get from Tuscaloosa to Orange Beach, then we need to make the decision to go and then head south. If we get on the road heading north we aren’t going to be sunning at Orange Beach eating at Lulu’s.
Make the decision then get your direction. Decisions then Direction then Destiny.

do the impossible

July 8, 2009 Wednesday
We have been talking about when life is unfair, how to respond. We respond by not giving up, but keep on driving forward. You have what it takes to accomplish your goals; that is, if you have set goals. Just surviving today so that you can do it all again tomorrow is not a goal. Although, I too, have been in that same exact place; it’s no way to live. Set your goals for your life and go after them.
If your life is boring or has no direction, then set some direction to your life. Know where you are heading. Know how you plan on getting there. Don’t let others just pass you by in life. Not that it is a race or competition, but make the most of the life that God has given you. Stretch yourself, do something that is impossible for you to do. If you can do everything you do then you aren’t trying enough. You have to go beyond you. God has you here for a specific reason; find that reason and go do it!

Easy living

July 7, 2009 Tuesday
When you find out that life doesn’t fight fair, but you resist the desire to give up and quit, that when life really begins. During this time of my life, I am finding that I am truly living. So many times I hear people at the end of their lives saying, I wish I had, I should have, I could have, I wanted to; but I never did. That is not life in my thoughts. I don’t think that life is just having a good time, only living for vacation and the weekends. It is in fact fulfilling your life’s plan. Then even hard work is a vacation. You don’t dread Monday’s, you love what you do.
Taking what life dishes out to us is necessary, but it’s what we do with what it dishes out. How do you look at it? Are we victims or victors? Don’t give up! Don’t quit! You can be victorious in life. You have what it takes. We just have to use what we have inside us.

Life

July 6, 2009 Monday
Life has a way of busting our chops. If you are trying to accomplish anything with your life, you will find that life will do all it can to stop you. Life will hit you and keep hitting you, even when you are down it continues to hit you. It is so unfair; life.
It is when life is giving you body blows that you really find out what you are made of. This is when you either give up and quit or you keep getting back up. Don’t you ever quit and give up! When life is treating you unfair; you keep getting back up, dust yourself off and keep fighting. If you stay down life will keep hitting you relentlessly. You have to decide to make a stand. Make up your mind that you will not give up, you will not throw in the towel. You have to stand your ground and make a difference.

Focus on...

July 5, 2009 Sunday
I am still on the focus thing today. We really need to focus on our strengths. Focus on the things that we do best. If something is a weakness; then let it go, unless it’s a character weakness. I will never be able to sing well, no matter how hard I work at it. So why would I focus on my singing? I need to focus on the things that I do well. I do focus on my poor people skills because that is a character weakness. That is something I have to work on. However, I focus most of my attention on my strengths. Don’t worry about the things you don’t do well, that is someone else’s area of strength. Work in your strong area that is what will bring you the greatest return, the greatest joy. Put your biggest effort in your best area. Work hard at it and also work smart at it. Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses.

4th of July

July 4, 2009 Saturday
Hope that everyone has a wonderful and fun 4th of July!!!!
What are you focused on right now? What has your attention? What occupies your mind and thoughts the majority of the time? Those are questions that I answer each day. I know that whatever we focus our attention on and think about will be what we move toward. Just like in sports you must be focused and concentrating on the ball or your opponent; whatever the case may be. Just like driving a car; if you focus on the middle line then you will move toward the middle line.
So what has your attention today? What do you focus on and think about? Those are the things that have a hold of you. Make sure that you are moving toward the right stuff and not a disastrous collision or off a cliff.

Direction = Destiny

July 3, 2009 Friday
Your intentions will never determine your destination. Many people have the best intentions but never get there. Your decisions will determine your destination. In other words, your direction or path will determine your destination. If you want to lose weight you may have great intentions but keep eating fast food then you won’t lose weight. You may want to reach your destiny but if you never use your gift/talent then you will never reach your destiny. Make sure you aren’t just talking about whatever it is you want to do, but you are taking action. Make sure you are going in the right direction. The world is full of good intentions but only those that turn intentions into actions get anything done. Don’t be afraid to step out in your gifted area.

What a place

July 2, 2009 Thursday
One thing I have been searching for is to be released to do what I do best. I have worked for various groups and organizations, but was never released to do what I really could do better than anyone. The key is that they didn’t know what I could do best. That is mainly an error on my part. The point is; release those with you, including yourself, to accomplish what they do best. Start with yourself; what are so good at? What is your passion? What do you do better than anyone? What were you put here to do? When you are doing that one thing, you are in the zone. Work places that do this have the highest retention of workers. They release people in their zone. Work in your strength area. If you find that you are constantly aggravated and frustrated at what you are doing, then it may be you are doing the wrong thing. Get in the zone! Find your niche and stay with it. There is no greater place to be.

I can't

July 1, 2009 Wednesday
It’s amazing how we sometimes let little things stop us dead in our tracks. Whether it’s fear of unknown or fear of failure, even insecurities, which all are tied together with the fears. One phrase that I hear that I can’t stand is, “I can’t.” That one statement will stop great things from taking place. When we say “I can’t” we essentially are saying that what God intended on us doing, what He put us here to do, we aren’t able, in other words, God was wrong. Don’t give up and quit because you don’t think you can do something or another. It may take some time, practice, effort, hard work, and determination to get it done, but you can do it. We are too quick to judge ourselves on what we think or feel. You got to know you can do it. You have to know that it can be done and it can be done by you! Keep trying! Don’t quit! Never give up! You are more than able!!

Brokeness

June 30, 2009 Tuesday
Can you believe that June is gone already?! We are over half done with ’09 now.
I was thinking about a book I read some years ago about being broken. The power of brokenness is awesome. It is only when we have been broken can we put back together in order to do what we were created to do. Just like a football practice. The players have to be broken down physically and mentally, and then put back together as a team, as one unit, many members but all acting as one. The basis is though; don’t feel bad when we are broken. It is the time of brokenness that we find the real us. Some don’t want to know the real them, but it is not so bad. You really need to get to know the real you; go through the brokenness and allow it to shape you and mold you; to make you the person you were created to be.

Believe in hope

June 29, 2009 Monday
You ever just feel like no matter what you do or what you say it’s just wrong, I am disastrous wrong. The more you try to do and say the right things; it never turns out the way you intended for it too. You try to comfort someone and make things worse, you try to encourage someone and make them feel worse. Maybe I am the only one that has that gift of offense. But you know what? Even when those things happen we still have to believe in ourselves and stand in hope. Never lose hope in yourself. When things just never seem to go right; believe in hope. When the money is short, the weather is not right, your spouse or bf or gf of kids of parents seem to on your case; believe in hope. When your boss or teacher or neighbor is getting in your grill; don’t lose hope. When nothing at all seems to be going your way; believe in hope.
There have been dozens of times that all I had to believe in was hope. But that was more than enough. Hope is not wishing, but when you believe and you know things will turn around. Don’t ever give up on hope. Hope will be your best friend!!

Together we stand

June 28, 2009 Sunday
I have sent the final copy of the manuscript to the editor. It shouldn’t be too much longer now before we have a book.
I think often about destiny and purpose. Exactly why are you and I here at this time? There has to be a reason for us being alive during this time. Don’t ever feel like you are a mistake or have no purpose. We all have a destiny to fulfill; unfortunately many never do fulfill their destiny. Be one of those that finds their destiny and then walks it out. There is no other feeling like knowing you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. We are all in this together, no one is out there all by themselves. So let’s work together and help one another. Learn to forgive quickly and completely. Misunderstandings will come during our lives together, but don’t let them stop you from forgiving and loving each others. Forgiveness we have said several times is so important to your life. To have peace in your life; you must learn to forgive others. It is a priority!

Failure

June 27, 2009 Saturday
With the feeling of hoplessness that we talked about yesterday can also come the feeling of failure. When you don’t have hope you will feel like a failure. Another reason not to allow hopelessness to enter into your mind. The only person that is a failure is one that quits and gives up. I have battled the sense of failure for most of my life. There are times when something will happen in my life that opens the door to that feeling of being a failure. It is a fight but one that we must win. Do not allow the sense of being a failure to take control of your mind. You are not a failure just as I am not. You would not be reading this each day if you were a failure. Keep on trying, learn from your mistakes and move forward. Don’t stay down, keep getting back up.
If you have friends that would like to get this please feel free to invite them to join, it is an open group. Thank you for taking time to read this each day. I appreciate each of you very much.

Hopeless

June 26, 2009 Friday
There are times that I feel like there is no hope. But I know that as long as I have breath in my body I still have hope. Hopelessness is to me one of the worse feelings there is. There is no doubt that it comes straight from the pits of hell. There is nothing good that comes from feeling hopeless. When all hope is gone then you are dead. Sometimes it is a mental death and sometimes a physical death. But know this: there is hope. Hope is not wishing but the earnest expectation that something good is coming your way. Never lose hope in yourself or others. Be a dealer of hope to others too. Always give encouragement which is a form of hope.

Give it back

June 25, 2009 Thursday
Sinice I am working for myself now and not on a clock I find that I really have to dsicipline my time more. I can't stand to waste time. However, sometimes it can be hard to determine what needs to be done and when. During my workout this morning I was just being quite and listening. It came to me that if I give my gift/talent to God, He will honor it. I don't have to worry about time, about finances, all the things that I tend to concern myself with. If I honor the One who gave me the talent'gift then all is good. I will continue to discipline my time and resources accordingly but all worry is gone. So from me to you, give your time back to the One who gave it to you. You may not consider God the Leader of your life, but all I am suggesting is that you give honor, time, your gift/talent to where it came from. Be careful you don't get like me and start thinking you have to do it all. I have to realize that I am so limited and don't know it all. Sounds easy but for some reason that pride in me wants to be on control. So just a thought today, give it back

Let it go

June 24, 2009 Wednesday
Here in Addison for Melissa's grandfather's funeral. It is not as hot or as humid up here. But it's still Alabama summer.
We have been talking about humility and forgiveness the past few days. I have noticed that when I forgive people I get more secure in who I am and that makes a tremendous difference in all areas of my life. It is amazing the power that forgiveness has in our lives. I see so many people that are so bound up in unforgiveness and how it affects other areas of thier lives. Please let go of unforgiveness before it has time to take root in your life. Be the stronger person and let it go. It does take strength to forgive and live a humble life, but it is so much better than being tied up in bitterness and resentment.

No matter what

June 23, 2009 Tuesday
During times of lose, such as death, we sometimes examine our own lives and what we are leaving behind. I wrote yesterday about humility. But what is humility exactly? The best definition that I have heard is it is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. We have to realize that everything is not about us, but their are others in the world. When we hold on to every little and in some cases big thing that people have done to us, we get more and more self absorbed and go into protection mode. Humility is saying even though I have been hurt I will still give of myself. It says, even though you have hurt me I will still give myself to you, I will still serve you with my gift/talent. Humility says that my destiny is more important than anything else. Because we have to realize that our destiny is all about other people. So humility in a sense is still loving and caring about others no matter what they have done or said. Hurts and disappointments will come there is no doubt about that, but the humble person will not allow those hurts and disappointments to stop them from loving and caring about others in words and in actions.

Humility

June 22, 2009 Monday
Wow is it hot!! It's summer time in Alabama!!
Tomorrow Melissa, Gloria and I will be going to Addison. Melissa's, PawPaw Powell, past away Sunday morning. As I briefly mentioned yesterday, he was one of the most humble men I have ever met. I wasn't around him very much. We would go and visit he and Mrs. Powell at Christmas time each year. We would sit at kitchen table in their small home in Addison and talk about everything under the sun. I always look forward to visiting the Powell's at Christmas. There home reminded me of my own grandparents in some ways. For one thing it was 85 degrees in the kitchen, just like home. However, the thing that stood out to me the most was the humility this man walked in, it was incredible. You could tell from the minute you met him, that he was genuine, the real deal. He opened up his home to me as if he had known me for many years. He always had kind words to say about the people we talked about, no matter what the situation or circumstance they were being talked about. He always asked about my family even though he had never met them. I felt at complete ease and peace around Mr. Powell. He was a humble man through and through. I learned from him the power of humility and how it gave him peace right up to the end. I hope that people will one day say that I am a humble man just like Mr. Powell.

Tough Times

June 21, 2009 Sunday
Happy Father's Day!! It was on Father's Day 2003 that my dad first got to see Gloria. She was 2 weeks old. He and mom drove up to NC to visit. He already had the cancer that would take his life at that time, but didn't know it yet. Today, Father's Day 2009, Mel, Glo and I will go to Cullman to see her grandfather, PawPaw Powell, for the last time. Father's Day has left me with some difficult memories, but incredible lessons. It's only through the hard times that we learn. The passing of our loved ones is an especially hard time, but we can learn from it. There is always a something there to help us grow. So I the lesson here is; don't despise the hard times. Don't complain, don't whine, don't make excuses, don't blame, don't criticize, but learn from it. Gleam something during the tough times, the hard times that you could not get when things are going smooth. When you are in the valley that is when you learn. My grandfather used to say, "The valley isn't that bad, it's where the lillies grow." So no matter how bad things may look at times, take heart, they will get better, they may get worse before they get better but they will. Learn from it, so that next time it won't be so hard.

Bad Decisions

June 20, 2009 Saturday
We can never let our circumstances get us down or worse yet stop us. Too many times I hear myself and others saying, "Well, I can't do that because..." We need to stop making excuses based on our past and/or our present circumstances. Just because you didn't finish high school, go to college, had a child at an early age, got a divorce, or any other decision that now doesn't look good, that doesn't mean you are not fit. Too many times those people telling us, "No you can't do that," are not right. Stop believing the negative and the poor mouthing about yourself. You made have made some bonehead decisions in your life, but who hasn't. I certainly have made some insane decisions, but I still have breath and that means I still have destiny in my life.

Worth

June 19, 2009 Friday
Well, I won't be a Mac daddy. The Mac didn't workout. So I am in line to get a Del now. So I don't know when I wil get it. I can use Melissa's and my IPhone in the mean time.
There have been times in the past week that I have wanted to throw myself a pity party. Thinking that I can't ever get this right or that nobody really cares if I write this stuff or not; what's the use. However, I know that if nobody else by me reads it, it is worth it. I am getting some things right and I am worth it. This is an attitude that we need to take more often. If you ever don't think you are good enough or not worth it; know that you are!! You have a purpose and a destiny, when things go wrong and bad, that is just a time for us to grow and mature.

No pain

Still no computer. Maybe tomorrow. I am doing this from my Iphone which has been up graded to 3.0
Forgiveness has been the topic. The question was asked, how do I know if I truly forgiven someone. The answer that I give to that is this; when the memory of that situation comes up the pain associated with that memory is gone. We never forgive and forget everything, but we can forgive.
That's how I know I have forgiven,when my pride or selfishness gets in the way I have to go back and make sure I truly forgiven. Your way maybe different and that's cool,but that's how I know I have forgiven.

Quick to Forgive

June 17, 2009 Wednesday
Still no computer for me. It is taking forever to get the Mac updated so I am still reading and just listening to what to do next. It has not so bad, just hope it operates like I want it to.
I was thinking about the forgiveness issue and how we can forgive someone even when they don't ask for it. A concept that I am really trying to use. Just living in an atmosphere of forgiveness in the past few months has brought me a lot of peace. There is nothing like it. It is undescribeable to say the least. Peace that comes from forgiving others whether they deserve it or not, even if they never ask for it or not. There is no greater peace than a clear, clean, and open conscious. Forgive quickly and completely!

Doing Right...

June 15, 2009 Monday
Have you ever noticed that the harder you try sometimes, the harder it gets? I can tell you that when you are doing the right thing, that is when you will run into most of the opposition. I have noticed that when I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, that is when things seem to be the hardest. So don't let it confuse you when things seem to be going against you. If you are doing the right thing, then it is expected. The world seems to be opposed to people that do right no matter what the situation. It seems contrary to common sense, but common sense isn't so common anymore.
I encourage you today, to examine your motives and your heart, then your actions. If they are all pure then you are doing the right thing. Don't let the obstacles, the hick ups, the stuff that comes against you to stop you, confuse you, or discourage you.

What Now

June 14, 2009 Sunday
I was able to send the manuscript to the editor once again. I was able to use a friends computer since I am still trying to get set up on Mac. Thanks to Mark and Wendy though they saved the day!!! Next up, "What Makes a Winner?" Using athletics as the back drop for a book that talks about the characteristics of winners. I will be at Tuscaloosa Academy, Jackson High School, UA, and USM to get the resources for this project. That's where we are as of now.
Once again I want to thank everybody for all the comments and notes. I hope you will continue to give me the feedback, both the good and the bad. Thanks also to those that have invited their friends to join the group or by email. There are several different methods of getting the blog now.
Each one of you has a special part in this blog and in the book project. I may be the one writing it, but you have a part as well. From those that read and those that read; then comment, to those that invite people. You are all a part of the process.
Thanks again for making this a fun, exciting, and a learning experience. I look forward to much more to come!!!

What A Day

June 13, 2009 Saturday
When I started to back up my book manuscript and blog yesterday my computer died, and I mean died. Had to take it to Wycomp to try to save the data. I got most of the data, the book and blog, all of my documents basically. But I had no computer, but they had a MacBook there and I had really wanted one, so the dealer worked a sweet deal with me. I have a new Mac. Not the biggest or the best, but just what I needed.
It is times like this in the past I would gone to pieces, not knowing what to do, but all I could hear was my mom saving,"Scott, if it is meant to be then not even you can mess it up". I know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, so why worry. This is a minor hick up in my life, nothing major. It is good to know that even when things go wrong that we still can have a peace and rest that only comes from being right where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Being in the pocket! For me that comes from being in God's perfect will. I think that is the only place we will ever have that peace and rest that we all desire.
Hope you have a great weekend! love you guys!!!!

No Place Like...

June 12, 2009 Friday
Had a great time with a good friend yesterday, we met for coffee at 9 and ended up having lunch too. It was a great time of talking about stuff, not business stuff, but just guy stuff. We don't get to do that enough.
One thing that I did get from talking to him was; finding your place. We talk a lot about findin your purpose, spouse, job, school, and other stuff. But what about finding your place? Place could have several different interpretations I suppose. It all depends on your perspective of who you are and where you are at in life. As a man, finding my place is a major objective, whether driven by the male ego or God; who gave us the ego, I don't know. What I do know is that finding my place in life is huge for me. Unless you are looking for your place in life this probably makes no sense to you, but for those of us that are looking for our place, you know exactly what I mean. I believe right now, without a doubt, that I am in my perfect place. It's like when stuff is going crazy all around you, but you feel safe; you are setting back and resting in the pocket, protected on every side. That is the security of knowing your place. There is no place like being in the pocket.

No cowering down

June 11, 2009 Thursday
I got the contract from the publisher yesterday. All I have to do now is finish the editing and we are ready to go to print. Won’t be too much longer now and the book will be available for you. Hope you all buy 5 copies for ya mama, on the cover of the Rolling Stone…
Thank you all for the great comments you are sending, I really appreciate it. If you want to send in a note to put in the forward of my book you still have time.
The more I write in the book the more I am learning about myself and others too. I am learning how we think and act in certain situations. You never really know how someone thinks until there is a crisis or adversity. I am a firm believer in that we are made in the tough times. Whether we take responsibility or blame others, whether we step up or shrink back, whether we have solutions or offer excuses, whether we encourage others or ridicule them. It’s in the tough times when we find out what a person is all about. We discover how strong we are mentally, physically, and spiritually. I don’t like the tough times, but I am so thankful for them. It is a time to grow and mature not cower down and run away. Be glad in the tough times, because it is a time for you to shine.

First thing

June 10, 2009 Wednesday
I have gotten the chance to do some reading this week and everything I have read and even listen to has been about setting the attitude for your day first thing in the morning. I do know that when you wake up you are in alpha stage, whatever happens first thing stays with you through the day. I recommend that when you get up, don’t have a tornado siren of an alarm clock wake you. However you wake up, do so more gentle and peaceful, it is possible. As a last resort have the air raid siren wake you.
Once you are up I highly recommend that you have some sort of routine, after the bathroom, which you follow. I have some stuff that I am going to put on note cards and laminate. Decision for the day! Anyways, the decision for this week is to have an attitude of love. I haven’t got it on paper yet but I will soon. This only takes a couple of minutes. Even if you are not a morning person, this will help you through the day immensely. Your daily routine is a habit you have formed, so why not make the first thing in the morning a good habit.

Fail or Succeed

June 9, 2009 Tuesday
How do you feel about the unknown? Especially when it is the unknown of your life, your future, your family, your destiny, your everything? I will be honest and say that I have moments when I know all is perfect, the planets are lined up just right, God is on the throne, and pizza has no calories. Then I wake up!!! I do have moments that I think I have lost my mind, what am I doing with my life? How can be a writer, a speaker, a personal development coach? I have never done this before! BUT, I know this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I just know that I know that I know. As long as my determination to succeed is greater than my fear of failure then I will succeed. The same is truth for all of us. No one person is created any better than another. We all have our issues, but at the same time we all have our gift/talent that we are to use. It’s all in how you look at it, your perspective. What is the perspective of your life right now? Failure or success; the choice is yours and yours alone.

Fair or Foul

June 8, 2009 Monday
Vacation over and back from the beach, birthday week behind us, back to work for all, and Gloria at Summer Camp. I am now getting really busy on the book again. I have gotten the editorial review back from the publisher and now making the improvements.
I was watching something, college baseball I think, and there was a line drive down the right field line; the only question was fair or foul. The umpire ruled foul; the place went nuts. He had ruled against the home team in a sense. However, replay proved he was right. However, there were several angles shown on TV, each one different. It was the same line drive, but each angle or perspective was different. Not different by a whole lot but yet different.
I was reminded that some time back we had talked about perspective. How the same event can have so many different angles. When there is a divorce or law case there are so many different angles, many different perspectives. The angle or perspective that we have is probably not the same as the person sitting next to you. Not to say one is right and one is wrong, but different. Let’s be considerate of other people’s perspective, they see things differently because of their past and where they are now. Just like the people at that game, all the seats offered a little different angle. Always remember, we don’t know all the facts, there are some things we don’t know or see about a situation. Be careful how you voice your perspective.

Join hands

June 7, 2009 Sunday
You may be thinking that life and all it brings with it is hopeless and it’s no use to try, well, I am telling you it’s not hopeless and there is use in trying. Don’t you ever give up! Nobody said life was going to be a cake walk and be easy all the time. I know it’s tough and unfair at times. I know life can be cruel and treat you really bad, but there is more on the inside of you than there is in the world. You have a destiny inside of you and that’s what life sometimes tries to steal from you. Don’t let stuff stop you from your destiny. There are going to be bad days, I have had bad years, trust me I feel your pain, but I know I have destiny and I know you do too. We are a team and we, together, can walk through anything. There is nothing that can stop us, but us. We just need to join hands, lock arms, and move forward. You are not by yourself!!! I love and appreciate you guys very much! Each of you is a vital part of my destiny.

Crutches

June 6, 2009 Saturday
I was watching some folk the other day on crutches, looked like they must have had knee surgery. Anyways, I was thinking about how we sometimes have crutches in our lives. Some of the time we may need a crutch for a short period of time, but there comes a time when you have to put down the crutch and walk on your own. I have had crutches and they do offer security. However, if we keep using them our muscles will atrophy and become useless. There comes a time when we have to put down the crutches and walk on our own. There are different crutches for different people. Some times our crutch may be another person even. Crutches come in all shapes, sizes, forms, and types. The thing is don’t become dependent on that crutch. You have to recognize if you are using a crutch; if you aren’t sure just ask a close friend. Then we have to lay down the crutch and walk without it. It is going to be unsure and somewhat painful at first, but you will learn to walk without it very soon. It will be a mental battle more so than a physical battle. Throw down those crutches and walk!

Beach Week

June 5, Friday
Well, our Birthday Week ’09 Beach Trip is over. It’s good to be home though, but we had a blast at the beach!! The only thing I don’t like about the beach is the sand, I can’t stand sand, but that’s all part of it I suppose. We will be back down there before too long I am sure of it.
The publisher sent me the editorial reviews for my book about destiny. They really liked it, didn’t want me to change anything, just to add some stuff. The stuff I need to do is not hard at all. So now we begin the editing of the book, I am excited about it. I will give you updates as I get them. Still not sure what the title of the book will be.
You all can help in the promotion of the book if you want to. You just tell people about it; you can invite people to this group page; this page is right in line with the book. If you read this, and like it, then you will like the book. So invite others to join the page and the book will get promoted. Some are already doing just that and I thank you!!
I do want to hear your thoughts, many send me stuff each day, don’t stop, but if you are thinking about it, then go ahead and tell me what you think. I do want to hear from you.
I love and appreciate you guys very much!! I am very thankful for you. Each one of you brings something different to the table. You each have a special gift or talent and you need to be using it. If you aren’t sure what that gift or talent is, then we need to determine it. Don’t doubt that you are gifted or talented, because you are. Age doesn’t disqualify you, nor do past mistakes, not even mistakes made yesterday. Don’t count yourself out; you are not out of the game. Let’s get you operating in your gift/talent today!!!

Words

June 4, 2009 Thursday
Today is Melissa’s birthday. For those that might not know, Melissa is my wonder, awesome, incredible wife. She is the one that brings perfect balance to my life. God knew what He was doing when He put her in my life. For those that know me, you know that’s true. It’s great to be able to spend, not only her BD, but Gloria’s BD too, at the beach. What a week!!
I was thinking this morning about being a person of your word. When you say something, are those words good? Does it mean anything when you say something? The old saying, “You are no better than your name,” means a lot. Simply said, are you trustworthy? It’s more than just telling the truth or not, but do your words have weight? Is there any depth to what you say? Is there any meaning to what you say? I have really been checking my words. I am making sure that when I do say something it has meaning and weight. I want my words to have substance, not just to be fluff. Not trying to flatter people but to sincerely encourage folk.

Are You Sure

June 3, 2009 Wednesday
There is a deodorant commercial that says, “Raise your hand if you’re sure.” There are times when I wonder; am I sure I am doing the right thing; am I sure I am where I am supposed to be; am I sure this is the plan for my life; am I sure I am doing what I am supposed to be doing… Thoughts like that often try to get me distracted from what I am focused on at the time. Heading into this summer I have really had to deal with those thoughts because of the changes taking place in our lives. I think we all want that assurance that we are doing the right thing. Like I tell you all the time, I know there is a plan for my life and I have to believe in that plan; then go work the plan. I, too, have to trust and know that God has my best interest in mind. But do I have my best interest in mind?

Others

June 2, 2009 Tuesday
From the sandy beaches of beautiful Gulf Shores. One of the major points of destiny is other people. Your destiny is not just about you, but about other people. The thing with destiny is; it’s about relationship. No one has a destiny that is just about them. Sometimes I think we overlook this aspect of our destiny. We are here for each other. If you are all focused on you and yours then you are missing your destiny. You can’t just focus on what you want; if you plan on accomplishing your destiny. Look around today, most of the people are self minded, but destiny folk are others minded. Take a look at your mindset and see what you find. That will tell you a lot about your destiny at this point.

Family

June 1, 2009 Monday
We had a great, although brief stay in Jackson. I was able to spend some good time with mama. Also, Gloria and I were given the royal tour of the Athletic facilities at Jackson High School by Landon Hilt. Very impressive, JHS has come a long way and looking really good. Landon is an awesome man; I swear he knows more people than anyone I have ever met. What a guy, a lot of the people that are reading this right now are because he invited you. I can’t enough good stuff about Landon Hilt, what a guy!!
Today is my daughter’s birthday 6 years old. She is the greatest gift God ever gave me, her and Melissa; a package deal. First Melissa and then Gloria, I don’t deserve it!
On our way to Gulf Shores today, we will get to stay until Thursday. There is nothing like some good family time at the beach. I never want to take my family for granted. They are my support, so very important to me. Make sure that you never take those in the house with you for granted; it is easy to do if you aren’t careful. Take a few minutes today and make sure you give your family some love. Family, although they may drive you bananas are your heart and soul.