August 19, 2009 Wednesday
School starts today for my 6 yr old daughter. She is starting the 1st grade at Tuscaloosa Academy. The previous two years were easy because it was Pre-K and then K-5, but not “real” school. But today the real deal starts. It was harder on me than I thought it would be. I know it was on Melissa too, the past two years were on her as well. But that letting go… Gloria loves school, she loves to read and learn. She makes friends so easy. She has never met a stranger. My God I have so much to learn from her. I have so much trouble with relationships. I have never invested in a relationship all of myself, that is changing as we speak though. My parents, family, wife, daughter, friends, no one has ever had all of me as a friend. No one has ever gotten to know the absolute “real” me. All of that is about to change, actually it is already changing now. All this talk about courage to do this and that, well it is time that I have the courage to be me; the absolute real me. The thing is, I don’t think I know the real me either. So it is a learning experience for me too. I may lose every friend I thought I ever had, but that’s ok. It’s way past time that I remove every wall, barrier, and defense mechanism from my life and establish well defined boundaries. Courage is a must for me now!
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You have already displayed your courage by being transparent about your need to show the real you. The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step. I feel you are already on your way. It is God himself who has brought you to this; and it is He who will take you each step of the way. Go forward with your hand in His. He will not lead you astray, and He will keep you safe (even from yourself).
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