types of courage

August 3, 2009 Monday
I think we all have courage of one kind or another. There isn’t just one type of courage, but like the courage to change, the courage to grow personally. It takes courage to look at our lives and say, “I am tired of living like this,” and then make the changes necessary to live the life we were intended to live. It takes self courage to make life changing changes. It isn’t easy to change, to grow, to do the things necessary to live out your destiny. The courage that it takes to live your destiny doesn’t come from making excuses but from taking responsibility for our lives and the decisions we make.

Courage

August 2, 2009 Sunday
I have been thinking a lot about courage here lately too. I know that we hear the word a lot but what all does it mean? I know that courage has to do with having heart. I have heard that without the presence of fear; we would not have courage. We all have to summon our own courage at times in our lives. To begin to write and share myself for me has taken courage. I know full well that what I share about myself can easily be used in a negative way, but that’s when courage kicks in. Once I realized that the past really can’t hurt me because I had disarmed it, I had the courage to do what I needed to do. Without personal self security I don’t think we can have personal self courage.

Defining Trust

August 1, 2009 Saturday
Wow July is gone! School is getting ready to start back up; which means one thing; Football Season!!!! Won’t be long now, practice has started and it getting so close.
Trust is a strange thing sometimes, to many people. I have gotten many notes over the past few days about trust. I appreciate them all too. I have really had my eyes opened to the issue of trust. I don’t have the issues that I did at one time, but we all have some issues with trust. It is a very valuable and sensitive thing. I call it a thing, because it’s not an emotion, it’s not an object; it’s not really a thing, but what else to call it. Trust is fragile but at the same time it holds marriages together, teams together and even countries together.
I am looking into my own working definition of trust; what trust is or what is trust, so that I can eliminate any issues that I may still have regarding trust.

trust myself

July 31, 2009 Friday
The one person in this world that I have the hardest time trusting is me. I suppose that I know myself way too good. There are certain things that I know I have to stay away from because I don’t trust myself around them. For the most part people are not my problem. That’s because I don’t open up enough to be hurt by anyone; something that I am working on daily. However, I know my personality, my addictive personality, all too well. I have to stay away from alcohol, especially a cold beer on a hot summer day. I also have to stay away from smokeless tobacco. The tobacco isn’t too bad, but still I stay clear. I don’t trust myself around those things. I don’t trust myself with certain foods, pizza being the main one. It’s something how things but not people cause me trust issues with me. Like I said, it is because I don’t share myself enough. If I don’t invest myself then I can’t lose, but that is changing. I am putting myself in more vulnerable positions, mainly with my wife, my daughter, my mom, and now you guys to name a few. This is allowing my trust level with me to grow more, although it is a little bit, each day. I hope that one day I can share anything to anybody and not worry about how they could hurt me, use it against me, and stuff like that to stop me. Getting closer daily!!

Value of trust

July 30, 2009 Thursday
I can’t seem to get this trust thing out of my mind. Maybe I am still dealing with some trust issues and didn’t realize it. I have really looking at relationships that I have new and old; mainly at the level of trust in each of them. We are all on different trust levels in different relationships. I know that we all have some issues with trust, but even the worse issues can be worked through. Not having trust can prove to be a lonely place. But be encouraged there are still people that are trustworthy, probably more than you think. Start looking for folk to build trust in today. They are all around. Of course, there will be those that aren’t as trustworthy as others. But I am seeing the way to build trust is to be trustworthy and to put trust in others. When we give our trust to someone it will build trust in them many times. To be so important and vital; trust; there seems to be so little of it around. I guess that’s why it is so valuable and precious.

Fickle Trust

July 29, 2009 Wednesday
Trust in a friendship or relationship can be a fickle thing. I always want to believe the best about someone, no matter what the situation. However, there are times when folk just will not let you believe the best. Trust is so hard sometimes. Just when you think you have built some trust in a person; BAM! Something happens to really test that trust. But still I keep on trying to trust folk; knowing that it will be difficult. But I try because I know people are doing the same for me. People are placing more and more trust in me to see if I am worthy of their trust. Knowing that I will do something stupid given enough time. But don’t we all? We expect trust but do we give trust?

Trust Level

July 28, 2009 Tuesday
I am guessing that one of the main reasons we don’t establish relationships is a lack of trust. This is not always the case, but when we make up our mind not to have a relationship with someone it seems to be because we don’t trust that person. In time that may change and we build a friendship, but if we don’t trust then we will never have relationship. The only way someone is going to trust us is if we are trustworthy. If we have personal agendas and are only looking out for ourselves then we are not trustworthy. We our goal or objective is to see what we can get out of the relationship then we are not trustworthy. Trust is build on being worthy of that trust. Trust once lost is very hard to regain, I know that lesson all too well. But I am doing my best to rebuild trust in people that I have lost trust in and with people that have lost trust in me. It’s hard to do on both sides, but it is a building project that is well worth the effort put in to it.

Networking

July 27, 2009 Monday
I have been thinking about this “networking” thing. Networking for the sake of it, not trying to build relationships, to me is not right. I am trying to get you to do something for me and acting like I am your friend; that’s not me. To me that is just using people. So when I was told I had to network, I didn’t know what I had to do. Now I know and it’s simple. Build relationships to me is networking. Whether you do anytime, like buy my books or read my blogs, is not the important thing here. Establishing of the relationship to me is the most important thing. It’s not what you can do for me or what can I get out of it, but what can I do for you, what can I have to offer you in the relationship. There are all sorts of relationships and different levels of relationships. I am learning, slowly but surely I am learning.

Full Circle

July 26, 2009 Sunday
I am still learning from this past week’s trip to Jackson. No matter what we do in life when it comes right down to it; it’s all about relationships. It seems like everything I do comes full circle back to relationships. There are some old relationships that may need to be brought back to the forefront and then there are new ones that need to be established. However, I also see that the key elements to any relationship new or old remain the same. Care to guess? They are trust and forgiveness. Without these two key ingredients there can be no relationship. Both have to be worked at all the time. Trust doesn’t come easy; lose that trust and it’s almost impossible to regain. Forgiveness is the same, it seems so hard to forgive, but we ask for it so readily. Forgiveness and trust do go hand in hand; just like grace and mercy. It’s like grace and trust are close while mercy and forgiveness are close.

Take notice

July 25, 2009 Saturday
We all have a purpose and a destiny. You have heard me say that over and over again. Yet some of you look at your life and wonder if I am crazy. Well, I might be, that’s beside the point, but I will always believe that we all have a destiny. You may look at your life and not see the things you want to see. You may not be doing the things you want to be doing or dream about doing. You may see your life as insignificant and/or unimportant. We all have to go through times of growing and establishing a sound, good, strong foundation. The thing is while this is taking place nobody sees us, nobody notices us, we are taking for granted, over looked, stepped on, stepped over, passed up, passed by, forgotten, and left out. Trust me when I say this, you are being watched, but not in a bad way. You are being noticed, but in a positive way. There are folk like myself that take account of and notice people all the time. I have made it a lifestyle to take notice of people and where they are; as in their personal growth.

Getting to know you

July 24, 2009 Friday
I have spent the past two days in Jackson. I got to visit with mama which is always good, but also was able to “network” with people. I met some new folk and got re-acquainted with some folk I haven’t talked to in years. The root behind it all was the book coming out and the one I am writing. This networking as it is called it simply getting to know people. For me that is a stretch, I don’t get to know people very well, but it was been an awesome learning experience. Learning to open up to folk and just build relationships on all different levels is not something I am good at; YET. I am working on it though and it’s not so bad. The point of my rambling is that we all have areas that we have difficulty with in our lives, but we know that it is something that we have to work on. For me building and maintaining good healthy relationships is that area. For you it may be something totally else, but don’t put it off any longer. For those that I met this week and those that I got to see again after a long time; I want to thank you for allowing me into your life. I have the most amazing and awesome people around me right now and I am very thankful for each and every one of you!!!

Pick and choose

July 23 2009 Thursday
I have really enjoyed the time in Jackson with my mom. I have come to realize that life is really all about relationships. I have this mentality that I can just pick and choose who I want to be friends with and who I don’t. Funny thing though, when I get done with my list, it always seems to get changed. God has a way of rocking things. I see more and more that we all need one another. I know that some folk just aren’t going to get along that well, but when it comes down to it, we just need to love each other and don’t let stuff get in the way of relationships. I know that I have a lot to learn when it comes to people skills, but I am learning. So for all that I have offended or upset I apologize with all my heart. Even though it may not seem like it, I am trying.

Can you hear me now

July 22, 2009 Wednesday
When I was at Open Door, one of the programs that I worked to establish was a mentoring program for the students. Mentoring is a lost art in a lot of ways. However, it is still around in some circles; although it may not be called mentoring, we still do it a lot these days. Who are you being mentored by? Who are you listening to? I am a firm believer in that we all should have a mentor and in time be a mentor.
There have been some awesome men that have taught me incredible lessons during my life. I can remember Tommy White, Johnny Waddill, Danny Steed, and Houston Broadhead, just to name a few. These men taught me things that I still use today. However, are there still people today that are pouring into our lives the stuff that we need to know? There are plenty of folk that will teach us the wrong things, that’s easy and anyone can do that. We need folk that will teach and model for us the right stuff!!

confident not arrogant

July 21, 2009 Tuesday
We can be confident and not be arrogant. I have always believed in myself, but doubted that anyone else believed in me. I know I can do whatever I am supposed to do, but never believed anyone else believed that I could accomplish anything worthwhile. It is time that we begin to believe in the ability that God has placed in us. God, I don’t think, would give someone all this awesome ability and talent; then just forget about us. We need to find out what is in us. We have to know who we are and why we are here. However, does the self-confidence come before, during or after we realize these things?

Confident not controlled

July 20, 2009 Monday
This self-confidence thing really gets at me. I know that when I have trouble with my self-confidence that I let folk control me. Self-confidence is truly a powerful tool when used the right way. Not allowing self-confidence to escalate into arrogance is a key. But when we have self-confidence then we won’t let other people control our actions nor our emotions. When I dealt with a lack of self-confidence I found some folk; just a couple, that would help me to build my self-confidence. I didn’t let those that would use it against me get close enough to hurt me at that time. Now, I can allow anyone to get close because my self-confidence is now strong enough to where others can’t control me any longer.

Tub bottom

July 19 2009 Sunday
“Every tub must sit on its own bottom” my grandfather once told me. I had no clue as to what he meant. For years that statement has been in mind, wondering what in the world did he mean. I think what he was saying was; that we all have to walk out our own lives. As much as we want to help and we can to a point, but it is our responsibility to make decisions and to carry them out ourselves. No one can do that for you. We do help one another that is true, but we must take responsibility for our own actions and take responsibility for our lives. We have to have enough confidence in ourselves that we can make the right decisions and carry them out. Something is lacking in so many of us today; self-confidence.

Choo choo

July 18, 2009 Saturday
Every person’s life counts for something. We all do have a unique purpose here. I really do believe that; even though I see folk all the time not living to their fullest. Not to say that they are any less because of it. It doesn’t matter if your life looks like a train wreck it is not too late. We all have made mistakes and made bad decisions. Trust me I have made some insane decisions in my life. I have made some massive mistakes in my life. There are people that will never like me or listen to me because of the things that I have done, but I know that there is still purpose and destiny left in me. The same goes for you, if you are waiting until you are perfect, it ain’t gonna happen. Start make the necessary changes in your life, sure, but know that perfection isn’t the goal. Destiny is the destination!!

Life is too short and too long...

July 17, 2009 Friday
I often say life is too short to be angry, bitter, mad, etc… also life is too long for those same things. Why we walk around with all that stuff tying us up and keeping us so controlled by all that I don’t know. I know that not everybody is going to be friends with everybody else, but why not be pleasant and peaceful? I hate it when I have to walk on egg shells around people because of what they think, what they may say, how they feel, and so on. Sometimes I understand, it is my own fault that they feel that way. Even if I have apologized and tried to make things right; some folk don’t want to make things right. Let it go is all I know to do. I am too tired to try to remember who’s mad at whom, who’s not talking to whom, who is offended and who isn’t. I have been all those things at the same time too. So I really do know how it feels to be all constipated on messed up emotions. But not any longer! Peace, grace, mercy, forgiveness are too good to live without.
A side note here. Five years ago this week my dad began a battle with cancer. Now at this same time five years later, my mom is beginning that same fight. We are much better prepared this time around. I thank you for your prayers; we are going to be just fine no matter the outcome. We will make it through this; for God is with us and I can’t ask for anything more than that.

Still Growing

July 16, Thursday
To say that I have had a lot on my mind the past week and especially the past few days is an understatement of massive proportions. Most of the stuff I will write on here about and some is just for me. This thing with relationships and trying to fix or repair folk has really hit home with me. Also, the fact that people are the most important resource we have. Yet we spend so much time in unforgiveness mode, mad at folk, trying to get even with folk, withholding ourselves from folk, and I could go on and on, because I am guilty of all of these. I will be the first to admit that my people skills still stink. I am actively working on improving them. It’s amazing, I clear one obstacle and there sits another. Ahhh, such is life, I know it’s all part of growing and maturing.

Celebrate Others

July 15, 2009 Wednesday
Back when I was in Jackson I can remember that this week was a week of celebration. The whole week something would be done to celebrate today, the birthday of Pastor E. C. Russell. We would have a ball all week long. We would celebrate together.
When you have relationships you love to celebrate with the other person. It’s about them, not about us. In the case mentioned it was fun for everybody. However, sometimes we have to be the giver. We tend to base relationships on what the other person can do for me. I am finding out that it is not necessarily that way. I often hear “Well, they did this or they did that to me and I am going to do this or take to them.” Relationship is not about retaliation but about giving of yourself to others. There are boundaries and parameters of course, but it is not what can I get, but what can I give. There is a balance, so be careful that we don’t get too out of balance. Like I mentioned yesterday, I have to watch that I am not trying to fix or repair everyone, but just give of myself.